


Gravity Tales

by FacelessTwins



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crossdressing, F/F, F/M, Fairy Tale Retellings, Fluff and Humor, Human Bill Cipher, M/M, Princes & Princesses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 15:09:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10699548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FacelessTwins/pseuds/FacelessTwins
Summary: Mabel asked Stan to read her and Dipper bedtime stories. Stan agrees, so long as he picks the stories. Basically a collection of fairy tales, but with Gravity Falls characters, and their own little twists.





	1. Prologue

It was a peaceful night in the town of Gravity Falls; aside from the occasional bickering of the gnomes and the chirping of the crickets. Our story begins at the local tourist trap, known as the Mystery Shack. Stan Pines was seated in his recliner, in the living room. The only light that was in the room was from the small TV, that was playing _The Golden Girls_ reruns. Stan smiled, finding the show rather enjoyable and was glad no one was here to mock him for watching it.

“Grunkle Stan,” came a feminine voice.

Stan quickly snatched the remote and changed the channel to something about hunting. He shifted his gaze in the direction the voice had come from, hoping that he was fast enough and no one would question what he was watching. Stan's great niece and great nephew were standing in the doorway. He smiled “Hey, you two,” he greeted “What are you doin’ up?” he asked “Did Mabel have the salad fingers nightmare again?”

The twins shook their heads in unison “Dipper and I couldn’t sleep,” Mabel replied “We were wondering if you could read us a few stories or something,” she explained, giving Stan a small smile. Stan shrugged “I don’t see why not,” he replied, getting up off his chair “You two get comfortable while I go grab a book,” he said, exiting the living room, flipping on the lights as he did so. Mabel grinned wide, taking a seat on one of the arms on Stan’s chair “Thanks, grunkle Stan!” she chirped. Dipper took a seat on the other arm of the chair, grabbing the remote and turning off the TV. He shifted his gaze to Mabel “What do you think he’ll read to us?” she asked, a smile on her face “Knowing Stan, it’s probably something for old men,” Dipper muttered in reply. Mabel smiled softly “Come on, dip-dop. Give the man a chance,” she said.

Stan re-entered the room along with a book that was tucked under his arm. He took a seat in his chair, smiling down at the book he had grabbed “How would you two feel if we read some Grimm's fairy tales?” he asked, shifting his gaze between the two twins. Dipper raised an eyebrow “Grimm’s fairy tales?” he questioned “What are those?”

Stan grinned wide “The original fairy tales,” he replied. It was Mabel’s turn to raise an eyebrow “‘Original?’”

Stan nodded “Yep. See, all of those kid fairy tales,” Stan began “Sleeping Beauty, Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, all of ‘em; they were originally much darker. Until they were made child friendly for kids to learn lessons,” he explained. Dipper and Mabel’s eyes widen as they stared at Stan in amazement “Whoa,” they exclaimed in unison. Stan turned to the first page of the book “Alright, let’s see what story we’ve got first…” he began.


	2. The Little Red Riding Hood

_ “The Little Red Ridding Hood.” _

_ “We already know this story, grunkel Stan,” Mabel spoke up. _

_ “Don’t care. We’re reading it anyways.” _

_ “Aw man…” the twins muttered in unison. _

_ “Hey, cheer up. I’ve got my own little twist to it, if that helps.” _

Dipper stared at the red hood he was holding in his hands. He was standing near the door of his small cottage, getting ready to leave to go see his great uncles, “Dipper!” Mabel called “Are you almost ready to go visit grunkle Stan and grunkle Ford?” she asked, entering the room, holding a basket. Dipper nodded “Yeah,” he began “It’s just… Do I really have to wear this red hood?” he asked “It looks so girly,” he added with a grimace, “Mom said you had to. It’s cold out,” Mabel replied “And that’s the only thing we have to keep warm,” she added, placing the basket on the floor. Dipper blinked a few times, glancing over to the huge pile of sweaters that were by the closet “Right…” he muttered. Dipper looked back at Mabel “Anyways, why do I have to go see them? Why can’t you?” he asked. Mabel frowned “First of all, that’s kind of mean, Dipper. You haven’t seen them in forever,” she replied “And second of all, because mom said you needed to get out of the house more.”

Dipper’s eyes went wide. He gestured to the door “Their house is sixty miles away!” he exclaimed. Mabel held up her hands in defense “Hey, tell that to mom. I’m just the messenger,” she said. Dipper let out an exasperated sigh and put on the red hood “This trip better be worth it,” he muttered. Mabel picked up the basket and held it out to Dipper “Here. Mom packed some food for you and our grunkles to share,” she informed. Dipper took the basket, looking to see what was inside; pies, cakes, apples, and… Pitt colas? Dipper shook his head, looking back up at Mabel “Thanks,” he replied. Dipper turned to the front door “Well,” he began “Guess I’ll see you when I get back… If I’m not mauled by wolves first,” he grumbled “Seriously, is mom trying to kill me?”

Mabel rolled her eyes “You’re over exaggerating,” she replied. Dipper turned the doorknob and opened the door, stepping outside “Say what you will, but if I don’t come back, you know why,” he said, exiting the house, and waving goodbye to his sister “Bye, Mabel.”

Mabel stood in the doorway and waved “Bye, Dipper!” she called.

Dipper began his walk into the forest, following the path to his grunkles’ house. Dipper looked around at his surroundings, pulling down the red hood to see better “Man, I sure hope there aren't any wolves around,” he mumbled jadedly. There was a small rustle from a bush. A tall, blond haired man in a wolf costume jumped out from the bush “Rawr!” he shouted. Dipper paused his walk, staring up at the “wolf.” The “wolf,” who was Bill, blinked “Nothing? Really?” he asked, standing up straight and putting his arms down to his sides, “I kinda figured you’d show up,” Dipper replied matter-of-factly “Anyways,” he began, shuffling to the side “I’m just gonna…” he trailed off as he walked passed Bill “Keep walking.”

Bill turned to face the direction Dipper was walking in. He began to follow Dipper “Mind if I come with?” he asked. Dipper continued to walk, not seeming at all fazed by the wolf that walked beside him “You’re already following me, so I don’t see I have a choice in the matter,” he grumbled in reply. Bill stared down at Dipper “You don’t have very many friends do you?” he asked. Dipper continued to look forward “Neither do you, if you’re following a twelve year old through the woods,” he shot back “Touché…” Bill replied.

**.o.o.o.o.**

Ford was seated at the kitchen table reading a book. Stan was seated across from him, tying his bootlaces. Ford raised an eyebrow, looking up at his brother “Where are you going?” he asked, placing his book down on the table. Stan continued to tie his boots as he replied “I’m going to go door to door and see who’ll buy my vacuum.”

Ford sighed in exasperation and rubbed his temples “Stanley,” he began “No one will buy that thing,” he said “What does it even do?” he asked, looking up at his twin. Stan rolled his eyes “I told ya, Sixer, it collects all the dirt from carpets,” he explained. Ford laughed “Sounds too good to be true,” he muttered, continuing to read his book. Stan glared at Ford “Well, it’s true,” he grumbled in reply. Stan stood up from his seat and cracked his knuckles “Welp, I’ll be out,” he said, walking over to the door and grabbing the vacuum he was trying to sell “Good luck,” Ford mumbled, not looking up from his book.

**.o.o.o.o.**

Bill and Dipper continued to walk through the woods to get to Stan and Ford’s house. Dipper blinked a few times, looking up at Bill “Hang on, let me get this straight,” he began “You didn’t actually want to hurt those three little pigs?” he asked.  Bill nodded “Yep,” he replied “I was actually planning to talk to one of them about making a deal,” he explained.  Dipper gave Bill a curious look “What kind of deal?” he asked,  “That’s not important,” Bill replied.  Dipper shifted his gaze to a small patch of flowers “Oh, hey, those flowers look nice,” he commented, pausing his walk.  Bill shifted his gaze to the flowers “Yeah,” he began, pausing his walk “You should go get some for your, uh…”

“Great uncles.”

“Yeah! You should go get some for your great uncles!” Bill exclaimed, gesturing to the flowers.  Dipper stared at the flowers for a few seconds. He sighed, knowing exactly where this was going “Alright, fine,” he muttered, walking over to the flowers. He began to gather some for his uncles.  Bill smirked, walking off to Stan and Ford's house to commence his plan.

**.o.o.o.o.**

Ford was still seated at the table reading his book.  There was a small knock on the door.  Ford looked up “Oh, did Stan forget something?” he wondered, walking over to door “Who is it?” he asked,  “Hey, great uncle Ford, it’s Dipper!” Bill replied, mimicking Dippers voices “My mom made some stuff for you,” he added.  Ford squinted “Hang on,” he began “You don’t sound like my nephew,” he added.  Bill rolled his eyes in annoyance “Aw, come on that was a perfect imitation,” he grumbled to himself. He sighed “Ugh, you know what, forget it,” he said, taking hold of the doorknob and twisting it, opening the door “Hiya!” he greeted.  Ford’s eyes widen “What the-?!”

Ford was cut short as Bill tackled him to the ground.

**.o.o.o.o.**

Dipper walked up to his uncles’ house, holding a various assortment of flowers. He placed down the basket and knocked on the door “Hey, grunkle Ford, it’s me, Dipper,” he said,  “Come in!” a voice replied.  Dipper opened the door, picked up the basket, and walked inside. He blinked a few times.  Bill was seated at the kitchen table dressed in some of Ford's cloths.  Dipper walked up to Bill, an irritated and annoyed look on his face “Who the heck are you?” he asked.  Bill grinned “I’m your, grunkle Ford!” he replied.  Dipper sighed in annoyance “Okay, guess we’re really doing this…” he muttered. Dipper placed down the basket and flowers, and stood up straight “Oh my, grunkle Ford, what big eyes you have,” he said in exasperation,  “All the better to see you with, Dipper,” Bill replied.  Dipper stared at Bill blankly “Grunke Ford, what…” he trailed off and rubbed his eyes “Okay, I’m sorry,” he began “I can’t do this anymore. How was this even a scene in the original story?” he asked, looking up at Bill “I’m not stupid. I can clearly see that you’re not my grunkle Ford,” he explained “Bill, what did you do with my uncle?” he asked.  Bill glared at Dipper “Way to take out all the fun, Pinetree,” he grumbled, crossing his arms with a huff,  “Just tell me where my grunkle is,” Dipper demanded.  Bill pointed to a closet “He’s in the closet,” he muttered.  Dipper sighed in relief “Thank you for making this easy,” he said, walking over to the closet. He opened the door to find Ford tied up with duct tape over his mouth. Dipper smiled “Hi, grunkle Ford,” he greeted.  Ford replied with a muffled “hello.”

There was a small knock on the front door gaining the attention of the people in the house.  Preston, who was wearing a plaid green shirt, while carrying an ax, poked his head in the house, given that Dipper never shut the door “Hi. Sorry to intrude,” Preston began “I was wondering, have any of you seen my daughter, Goldilocks, anywhere?” he asked.  Dipper walked up to Preston “No,” he replied “But can I borrow that ax for a minute?” he asked, pointing to the ax that Preston was holding. Preston slowly nodded  “Uh, sure,” he said, handing the ax to Dipper.  Dipper took the axe, thanking Preston. He walked over to Ford and cut him loose.  Ford quickly ripped off the duct tape, surprising everyone when he didn't scream or express any pain. He smiled down at Dipper “Thank you, Dipper,” he said.  Dipper returned the smile “No problem,” he replied.  Ford shifted his gaze to Preston “Oh, and Woodsmen,” he began, gaining Preston's attention “I think I saw your daughter talking with three bears,” he informed.  Preston smiled “Ah, thank you,” he replied.  Dipper walked up to Preston and handed him the ax.  Preston took it, waving goodbye as he left.

“So…” Dipper began, turning to face Bill “What are we gonna do about  _ him _ ?” he asked, looking up at Ford.  Ford shrugged “Release him back into the wild?”

Bill frowned “Why are you guys talking about me like I’m not in the room?” he asked,  “Yeah, I think that’s for the best,” Dipper replied, completely ignoring the comment Bill had made.  Ford nodded, looking in Bill’s direction “Well, wolf,” he began, pointing to the opened door “Get out of our house.”

Bill huffed and got up from the kitchen table “Ugh, fine,” he grumbled “Man this story sucks,” he muttered as he walked back into the forest.  Dipper cupped his hands to his mouth “Be lucky it’s not the original!” he shouted.

_ "The end." _

_ “Grunkle Stan, I don’t think that's how it went at all,” Dipper commented. _

_ "I told you, I gave it a twist." _

_ “You changed the whole story,” Mabel replied. _

_ "You know I could just not read the book to either of you." _

_ “Sorry!” Mabel apologized “Continue, please,” she said. _

_ "That’s what I thought… Now then, next story..." _

**Author's Note:**

> We got the idea to make this from Family Guy, but we made it kid friendly. Hope you enjoy these fairy tales in Gravity Falls style.


End file.
